Dissolve Teaches Us to be Bold and Have a Little Fun

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Be bold. Stock footage provider Dissolve Inc (http://www.dissolve.com) wants to sell, so what do they do? They do just that by brilliantly poking fun at their own business.

The video above was created using all of Dissolve’s footage and was written by Kendra Eash for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. McSweeney’s is a San Fran based publishing company that also operates as a daily humor website.

Read Eash’s complete poem below. The link to the site follows.

THIS IS A
GENERIC
BRAND
VIDEO.

BY KENDRA EASH

- – - -
We think first
Of vague words that are synonyms for progress
And pair them with footage of a high-speed train.

Science
Is doing lots of stuff
That may or may not have anything to do with us.

See how this guy in a lab coat holds up a beaker?
That means we do research.
Here’s a picture of DNA.

There are a shitload of people in the world
Especially in India
See how we’re part of the global economy?
Look at these farmers in China.

But we also do business in the U.S.A.
Or want you to think we do.
Check out this wind energy thing in Indiana,
And this blue collar guy with dirt on his face.
Phew.

Also, we care about the environment, loosely.
Here’s some powerful, rushing water
And people planting trees.
Our policies could be related to these panoramic views of Costa Rica.

In today’s high speed environment,
Stop motion footage of a city at night
With cars turning quickly
Makes you think about doing things efficiently
And time passing.

Lest you think we’re a faceless entity,
Look at all these attractive people.
Here’s some of them talking and laughing
And close-ups of hands passing canned goods to each other
In a setting that evokes community service.

Equality,
Innovation,
Honesty
And advancement
Are all words we chose from a list.

Our profits
are awe-inspiring.
Like this guy who’s looking up and pointing
At a skyscraper or a kite
While smiling and explaining something to his child.

Using a specific ratio
of Asian people to Black people to Women to White men
We want to make sure we represent your needs and interests
Or at least a version of your skin color
In our ads.

Did we put a baby in here?
What about an ethnic old man whose wrinkled smile represents
the happiness and wisdom of the poor?
Yep.

Source: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/this-is-a-generic-brand-video

EASY DIY: The $21 Door-top Desk

DIYDesk
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Sooooooo….

My neighbors are doing a bit of remodeling and in the process are trashing old doors from their home. I’ve been taking the doors off of their hands for my own DIY projects. My latest project turned out pretty sweet and it was cheap.

I simply wanted to create a door-top desk for my own childhood nostalgia reasons and because it’s awesome. Here’s how I did it:

  1. I measured the space I wanted to place my desk. Using a circular saw, I made the appropriate cut across the base of the door. The cut was rough and it wasn’t even all that straight, but for this project beauty is in the eye of the beholder…I think. Let’s be honest, I just wanted to rip through some wood with a saw.
  2. I cleaned up the door with a medium grade sand paper to remove any loose chipped paint or splinters. I also wanted to rough up the existing paint a little further, so in some areas I used a little more muscle.
  3. I swept off the door to remove any excess dust or dirt, then I wiped it down using Murphy’s Oil and warm water.
  4. While the door dried, I ran out to Ikea and scored two of these easy to assemble desk legs: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/80130776/ ($10.00 ea.)
  5. Simply place the door on top of the legs and BOOM! Ya done good, kid!

EXTRAS:

If you want to look like a true pro, give a local window & glass company a call to get a piece of glass cut to create a smooth surface for your new awesome desk.

It even worked out that the old key and lock holes will serve as nice throughways for my charger wires and such. Bonus!

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What is Famous Coffee?

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For those of you who are not familiar, Tumblr. is a largely popular microblogging or tumbleblogging site.  In fact, the site boasts over 13 billion page views a month.  Lately I’ve been stumbling  across articles that  highlight some of the most interesting Tumblr. blogs.  My favorites include Dancing Dads, Crap At My Parents House and  Lunch Bag Art .  I’ve had my own Tumblr. account for some time, but I was inspired by what the creatives on Tumblr. were doing with these unique microblogs and decided to get creative myself.

Famous Coffee is a Tumblr. blog dedicated to posting pictures of famous figures drinking coffee.  On the blog I’ve included a complete archive and a separate page dedicated to classic coffee drinking icons.  It’s interesting to see coffee as a constant throughout time.  From Marilyn Monroe to Brad Pitt to Barack Obama; my coffee/celeb mashup is definitely worth a gander.

Screenshots: